I revise the masthead a bit by composing the line in a way to portray a "unlocking" feel to them. I remove the accidental boxing of the mission statement with the lines and boxed it in a light blue box to increase its importance. I extended the "spring 2016" banner downward and the heading "place" toward the right to close up some of the white space that was there before. The last revision I did was that I lower the body copy size down to 12pt and increase it leading to improve readability.
Tru, i'm really liking this layout so far. I love the colors and contrast. I like how you lowered the side banner to take away some of that empty space. I also like the concept behind the lines above and how they are "unlocking." One thing I can think of saying to maaaybe take out is the orange line about the photo, I'm not so sure if it's needed. Great work!
ReplyDeleteTru – yes, I agree with Eleni – you have too many horizontal lines… in too many places. Try this – remove all orange lines and then slowly put them back, one by one asking yourself with each line “does the composition really need that line?” And, if it doesn’t (which I expect you’ll decide for many, if not all, of them) then delete it again.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if you need an extra return between the paragraphs of body copy? The manuscript came that way, but as the designer, you can close up that space and use a first line indent instead… or use less space between the paragraphs.
As you continue to work with the body copy, please know that it would be a good idea if both columns of body copy line up horizontally (baselines align between columns). So – that is where the photo can help… currently all that needs to happen is for the photo’s lower edge to move down, pushing the text down with it until that text lines up with the left hand column.
Your work is certainly eye-catching, Tru. However, I don't think those orange lines are necessary. They're busy, and in the case of the far left vertical line, accentuate the fact that your sections aren't aligned. It's heavy on content, though, and I think that will appeal to CEOs.
ReplyDelete