Hi Elvis! I think you have an interesting three-dimensional texture on the front and back covers, but the pages in the middle are flat. It's inconsistent, and I think your design would look better if you only picked one or the other.
Additionally, red type on a blue background rarely work well; what you have is extremely difficult to read and the colors clashing kind of hurts.
On page two, I think that anything but a rectangular crop looks weird, and that bottom-right photo looks especially bizarre with its staircase frame. Perhaps you can have the whole photo with lowered opacity in the background? Maybe edit it in Photoshop to make it monochromatic with blue as well, if it's possible? Also, on the same page, putting the quote on the top messes with the visual hierarchy.
I also think that the body copy feels very heavy on negative space. It feels like there could or should be more content there. Maybe it's the leading?
I'm sorry to be so negative here. I think everything else is excellent. I love your use of the bleed photos, and I think the cover page is extremely attractive. I look forward to what your final will look like!
Elvis – I agree with most the feedback from Nat, and will propose some solutions for you:
The line of “jewels” is one of the strongest elements in this project, so please find a way to include this line on the inside. It will help unify the inside and outside of the newsletter.
Yes, please stay away from red type on blue background… in this case the value of the colors is too similar – which creates a readability issue.
Please view pages 2/3 as 1 composition – which means that some elements could/should cross the gutter and unify the pages. I suggest you enlarge the photo at the top of page 2 so it does this – and if it is larger than the quote that sits on it will also have more room in which to sit comfortably.
Quote – the technique you use on cover 4, with the translucent box behind the text, is a good one. Can you repeat that approach on the inside? I think you only need 1 quote on the inside spread, not 2… and this will give you some room to style it as it is styled on cover 4.
Body copy – I think you need a larger center margin and less leading for this text style. The lines of the columns seem to be so close that we might be tempted to read across the column rather than drop down when we are supposed to. If you reduce the leading, you will also create a bit more space in which to use photos. Have you thought about using the lower photo on pg 2 as a silhouette? Flipping it, placing it in the lower left corner of the page and allowing text to wrap around the girl’s head might be a really nice approach to that page. This is page 2 (not 1) and that folio could sit on top of her, I think.
Cover 4 – Everything is in its proper place, and the elements works well. Only think to consider if the quote styling… this type may need to be more bold to be readable.
I agree with what Nat and Coni said, the jewels element is very nice and you should incorporate it more into your design to create a unity feel. You try extending the top right corner image to the whole page and add a bottom border to it, and the bottom border can be the jewel line element. You could also add the jewel line element to the bottom banner and top banner of page 1 and 2.
For the back cover, I don't understand the purpose of the blue bottom banner "central Asia mission". It feel out of place.
I agree with what Nat and Coni said, the jewels element is very nice and you should incorporate it more into your design to create a unity feel. You try extending the top right corner image to the whole page and add a bottom border to it, and the bottom border can be the jewel line element. You could also add the jewel line element to the bottom banner and top banner of page 1 and 2.
For the back cover, I don't understand the purpose of the blue bottom banner "central Asia mission". It feel out of place.
Hi Elvis! I think you have an interesting three-dimensional texture on the front and back covers, but the pages in the middle are flat. It's inconsistent, and I think your design would look better if you only picked one or the other.
ReplyDeleteAdditionally, red type on a blue background rarely work well; what you have is extremely difficult to read and the colors clashing kind of hurts.
On page two, I think that anything but a rectangular crop looks weird, and that bottom-right photo looks especially bizarre with its staircase frame. Perhaps you can have the whole photo with lowered opacity in the background? Maybe edit it in Photoshop to make it monochromatic with blue as well, if it's possible? Also, on the same page, putting the quote on the top messes with the visual hierarchy.
I also think that the body copy feels very heavy on negative space. It feels like there could or should be more content there. Maybe it's the leading?
I'm sorry to be so negative here. I think everything else is excellent. I love your use of the bleed photos, and I think the cover page is extremely attractive. I look forward to what your final will look like!
Elvis – I agree with most the feedback from Nat, and will propose some solutions for you:
ReplyDeleteThe line of “jewels” is one of the strongest elements in this project, so please find a way to include this line on the inside. It will help unify the inside and outside of the newsletter.
Yes, please stay away from red type on blue background… in this case the value of the colors is too similar – which creates a readability issue.
Please view pages 2/3 as 1 composition – which means that some elements could/should cross the gutter and unify the pages. I suggest you enlarge the photo at the top of page 2 so it does this – and if it is larger than the quote that sits on it will also have more room in which to sit comfortably.
Quote – the technique you use on cover 4, with the translucent box behind the text, is a good one. Can you repeat that approach on the inside? I think you only need 1 quote on the inside spread, not 2… and this will give you some room to style it as it is styled on cover 4.
Body copy – I think you need a larger center margin and less leading for this text style. The lines of the columns seem to be so close that we might be tempted to read across the column rather than drop down when we are supposed to. If you reduce the leading, you will also create a bit more space in which to use photos. Have you thought about using the lower photo on pg 2 as a silhouette? Flipping it, placing it in the lower left corner of the page and allowing text to wrap around the girl’s head might be a really nice approach to that page. This is page 2 (not 1) and that folio could sit on top of her, I think.
Cover 4 – Everything is in its proper place, and the elements works well. Only think to consider if the quote styling… this type may need to be more bold to be readable.
HI ELVIS,
ReplyDeleteI agree with what Nat and Coni said, the jewels element is very nice and you should incorporate it more into your design to create a unity feel. You try extending the top right corner image to the whole page and add a bottom border to it, and the bottom border can be the jewel line element. You could also add the jewel line element to the bottom banner and top banner of page 1 and 2.
For the back cover, I don't understand the purpose of the blue bottom banner "central Asia mission". It feel out of place.
HI ELVIS,
ReplyDeleteI agree with what Nat and Coni said, the jewels element is very nice and you should incorporate it more into your design to create a unity feel. You try extending the top right corner image to the whole page and add a bottom border to it, and the bottom border can be the jewel line element. You could also add the jewel line element to the bottom banner and top banner of page 1 and 2.
For the back cover, I don't understand the purpose of the blue bottom banner "central Asia mission". It feel out of place.