Elvis – because I don’t see the changes that would have resulted from the previous feedback given to you by Nat and myself, I’m going to re-comment mine below. You should go back and read Nat's feedback because I agree with most of it.
The line of “jewels” is one of the strongest elements in this project, so please find a way to include this line on the inside. It will help unify the inside and outside of the newsletter.
Please stay away from red type on blue background… the value of the colors is too similar – which creates a readability issue. So, no red type on blue backgrounds.
Please view pages 2/3 as 1 composition – which means that some elements could/should cross the gutter and unify the pages. I suggest you enlarge the photo at the top of page 2 so it does this – and if it is larger than the quote that sits on it will also have more room in which to sit comfortably.
Quote – the technique you use on cover 4, with the translucent box behind the text, is a good one. Can you repeat that approach on the inside? I think you only need 1 quote on the inside spread, not 2… and this will give you some room to style it as it is styled on cover 4.
Body copy – I think you need a larger center margin and less leading for this text style. The lines of the columns seem to be so close that we might be tempted to read across the column rather than drop down when we are supposed to. If you reduce the leading, you will also create a bit more space in which to use photos. Have you thought about using the lower photo on pg 2 as a silhouette? Flipping it, placing it in the lower left corner of the page and allowing text to wrap around the girl’s head might be a really nice approach to that page. This is page 2 (not 1) and that folio could sit on top of her, I think.
Cover 4 – Everything is in its proper place, and the elements works well. Only think to consider if the quote styling… this type may need to be more bold to be readable.
I agree with Coni, the line of jewels you use on the cover page is one of my favorite elements of your design. It would be really nice to see that on another page as well, if not on all of them. I was thinking that instead of the large pixelated kind of boarder you've come up with on page one and two, it would be a great opportunity for you to insert those jewels you have on the cover page. It would tie your cover page to the rest of your pages nicely.
The last page looks great with the picture you've chosen, however I didn't notice the red quote over the blue water. It kind of confuses the eye. I suggest that you could either change the color of the quote and make it bolder, or you could put a rectangle behind the text and lower the opacity just to give it a better chance at being readable.
I agree with Connie and Nicole that I like the line of jewels design you've made and would like to see more of them/continuation of them to the inside pages. This will definitely help unify the design, and keep the theme of jewels going.
I also really enjoy the back cover. The photo is great. Though I can't read the type on the photo well. The red on top makes it very hard to read. What if you tried changing it to white instead?
Elvis – because I don’t see the changes that would have resulted from the previous feedback given to you by Nat and myself, I’m going to re-comment mine below. You should go back and read Nat's feedback because I agree with most of it.
ReplyDeleteThe line of “jewels” is one of the strongest elements in this project, so please find a way to include this line on the inside. It will help unify the inside and outside of the newsletter.
Please stay away from red type on blue background… the value of the colors is too similar – which creates a readability issue. So, no red type on blue backgrounds.
Please view pages 2/3 as 1 composition – which means that some elements could/should cross the gutter and unify the pages. I suggest you enlarge the photo at the top of page 2 so it does this – and if it is larger than the quote that sits on it will also have more room in which to sit comfortably.
Quote – the technique you use on cover 4, with the translucent box behind the text, is a good one. Can you repeat that approach on the inside? I think you only need 1 quote on the inside spread, not 2… and this will give you some room to style it as it is styled on cover 4.
Body copy – I think you need a larger center margin and less leading for this text style. The lines of the columns seem to be so close that we might be tempted to read across the column rather than drop down when we are supposed to. If you reduce the leading, you will also create a bit more space in which to use photos. Have you thought about using the lower photo on pg 2 as a silhouette? Flipping it, placing it in the lower left corner of the page and allowing text to wrap around the girl’s head might be a really nice approach to that page. This is page 2 (not 1) and that folio could sit on top of her, I think.
Cover 4 – Everything is in its proper place, and the elements works well. Only think to consider if the quote styling… this type may need to be more bold to be readable.
Hey Elvis!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Coni, the line of jewels you use on the cover page is one of my favorite elements of your design. It would be really nice to see that on another page as well, if not on all of them. I was thinking that instead of the large pixelated kind of boarder you've come up with on page one and two, it would be a great opportunity for you to insert those jewels you have on the cover page. It would tie your cover page to the rest of your pages nicely.
The last page looks great with the picture you've chosen, however I didn't notice the red quote over the blue water. It kind of confuses the eye. I suggest that you could either change the color of the quote and make it bolder, or you could put a rectangle behind the text and lower the opacity just to give it a better chance at being readable.
Elvis, this is coming along great so far.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Connie and Nicole that I like the line of jewels design you've made and would like to see more of them/continuation of them to the inside pages. This will definitely help unify the design, and keep the theme of jewels going.
I also really enjoy the back cover. The photo is great. Though I can't read the type on the photo well. The red on top makes it very hard to read. What if you tried changing it to white instead?
So far, it's coming along great!